As an eight-months-old mom, I already feel like I should have done some things slightly differently. While some points are rather shopping-related, there are also some that would have saved my nerves if I thought about them earlier. Like the first one:
Pay less attention to milestones
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH STRESS I GOT WHEN DANIEL DIDN’T START ROLLING OVER AT THE AGE OF FOUR MONTHS!
Or maybe you can, if you are the first-time mom, and your baby is not being an Einstein of tummy time and Leonardo da Vinci of rolling over.
Of course, it’s important to pay attention to your baby’s behavior and how their body develops. “Ah, such an emotional little one! He’s going to be fine, maybe a little massage is needed” was the most consolating thing I’ve ever heard from a pediatrician.
That was the third pediatrician we saw. The first two said something about his head being big, asked about Vitamin D, and hinted at the early stage of rickets.
He was emotional - it meant that his lack of interest in grabbing toys and rolling to the tummy was not a sign of autism. But he indeed had a hypertonus of upper limbs, and we fixed it with the massage - btw, I really recommend Neli from Osteopathic Center in Vake, she was friendly and gentle, and Daniel loved her.
After the massage, he started rolling, playing more actively, and enjoying movement much more. Now when his peers start crawling and sitting and he doesn’t, I’m totally relaxed. He will do it eventually, because he is moving, pivoting, playing, and making his muscles stronger. To hell with milestones charts!
To hell with sleep consultants, too!
When I was getting ready for Daniel’s arrival, I was reading and watching a lot of stuff to make my own opinion. At some point, I was hijacked by the ideas of the Right Way of Sleeping, with all the blackout curtains, sound vacuum, white noise, strict sleep routines, sleep training from 2 months on…
Luckily, I didn’t get to the last one, and I skipped white noise, but generally, I was pretty much stressed by creating the Proper Atmosphere for sleep every single time.
Don’t let me be misunderstood: I understand that many of us need to go back to the office (or want to live as they did before pregnancy), so the baby falling asleep alone is a must.
However, I choose to be an Old Mother (according to the local standards) exactly because I wanted to have enough money and time to stay home with the baby for a year or so, and not work every day full time.
Then I realized that my baby’s sleep routine was not a bedtime story and pacifier, but cuddling, nursing, and falling asleep next to me, and he also slept well without blackout curtains and white noise, in the park, and in friends’ homes (knowing that I or Zviad are next to him).
Then I realized that he was fine with 2 naps a day instead of age-appropriate 3, and even though the naps were short sometimes, he was still fine. Then I realized that sleep consultancy is also an industry that lives off parents’ fears, as many others.
Long story short: whatever you choose - nursing or pacifier, blankie or boob, remember: you know your baby better, and if your way of doing things works, let it work.
Buy a Bassinet
In the beginning, Daniel was sleeping in his bed (a crib of regular size, but rolling around all the time - we didn’t use the bumpers because of SIDS, so there was plenty of space.
Then, once he grew and started sleeping less and get trickier, we started putting him to sleep in a baby nest, and then transfer the nest to the bed. Those were the months where I started this blog thinking I got everything covered and crowned myself as a Sleep Master.
Ha! Once the baby nest got small but the crib remained big, managing sleep started being trickier. The sleep regression arrived, and I felt exhausted after finally going through some sleepless nights.
We started co-sleeping, which made my husband temporarily move to the second bedroom, and I wished I had bought the bassinet that would allow me to nurse at night without waking up and without Daniel being directly in my bed.
Now he’s too tall for the bassinet. We still co-sleep, but with a bedrail so that we all would feel safe, and Zviad and I would reunite. I know there are various opinions about this, but we like to share the bed, and we don’t want to sacrifice it for the baby.
Luckily, we found the solution, but honestly, I wish we would have had a compromise option with the baby being maximally close, but still in his own place.
Take more videos!
While some parents might regret that they watched the baby via the smartphone screen all the time (oooor maybe they don't 😂), I regret that I didn't take enough videos, even though my husband told me to.
Honestly, I was in such a haze during the first six weeks that I don't really have normal footage of our time together. I wasn't able to sit, so we were lying down all the time, and sometimes I went for a walk. That's it.
I even have a masochistic regret that I didn't record Daniel's peculiar way of tummy pain cry - it sounded like Rihanna's "ella ella ella e e e", I swear. We noticed it from day one and it disappeared together with colics in the middle of month three. I never heard a baby cry like that, and even though I suffered when he suffered, it was a very special cry and I wish I recorded it.
Now he started blabbing and calls Anna and Nana instead of Ella, and I do have a recording of it in case his future girlfriend will carry one of those names 😀
Do you also have things you'd rather done differently? Share your stories!!
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