My Birth Story: Not What I Expected, Again

If you’ve been following my pregnancy diary, you might have known that I had a C-Section scheduled and even blood reserve collected for the case if things would go nasty (here is my huge thank you to Volunteer Blood Donors organization and Melanie, Tamriko, Piret, Natia and Ilia who donated their blood for me).

So placenta previa wasn’t a relevant diagnosis anymore, so I went for a belated yoga class and wanted to walk more, but my body already switched to hibernation and proper nesting, so I was tired and quite grumpy all the time.

Labour Day -1

Due date has passed, my obstetrician checked on me on February 13 and said that if birth won’t start till next weekend (week 41), we’ll have to induce labor. My prenatal course claimed that such interference was not necessary. The baby seemed to be growing well and everyone around was worried that by week 41 it will be a first-grader. I was in between these streams of information, dazzled and tired.

Later in the evening, I had a feeling that my usual Braxton Hicks cramps were neither Braxton, nor Hicks anymore. Having decided to relax one last time, we went to bed around midnight, and suddenly the walls of our house started shaking. The strongest earthquake I’ve ever experienced in Tbilisi! The tectonic change of reality was obvious.

Labour Day

Around 3 AM I woke up. The cramps finally got the pattern. I started counting them in my Pregnancy Tracker App, and once it came closer to 5-1-1 (5 cramps per hour, at least one minute long), I got up, went to the living room, sat there hugging my cat in complete silence and darkness for another thirty minutes, took shower, woke Zviad up, we checked our huge suitcase, woke up my mum, had breakfast, called the obstetrician and were ready to go by 8 AM.

The morning was gray, foggy and rainy. I had a playlist created for this day, but finally some random music was playing in the car, because I was concentrating on my sensations. Once we turned to the embankment, Bad Kingdom by Moderat slipped into my ears. “This is not what you wanted, not what you had in mind”.

The lyrics appeared to be prophetic.

In the clinic

We arrived around 9 AM, met my doctor Maia, checked-in (more about the process in a separate article), and found ourselves in the room where our first meeting with our son was scheduled. Maia told me to move more - there was a fitball and climbing frame in the room.

We switched off the bright light. It was raining behind the narrow window. I was walking back and forth, and using the fitball quite a lot. We had some camomile tea and granola with us, so I was keeping my energy levels on the proper level.

Time passed. Maia was checking on me every hour or two. The TV in the room didn’t accept our USB drive with movies I chose for this day, so we watched Avengers on the phone (my comfort movies selection is weird, I know).

Around 1 PM we heard a woman in the other room on this floor releasing several powerful guttural screams, and then baby’s screams joined her voice. That’s how it can sound, uh-huh! My cramps got more frequent, but not more intense. We kept waiting, watching a movie, me bouncing on the ball.

Around 2 PM Maia checked on me and said that if nothing changes within an hour, we’d use oxytocin to stimulate the birth activity. I reluctantly agreed, but was upset: I had an idea that I wanted to give birth as naturally as possible, and Maia was for it as well, when we discussed the birth plan. Zviad was trying to comfort me - soon we were going to meet our son, and it started snowing beautifully. A perfect setting!

Interventions begin

At 3 Maia came and asked how I felt. The intensity of pain didn’t change. I was having my tea, bouncing, counting cramps, breathing. Zviad was rubbing my back, giving me snacks… being around and doing everything I asked for.

Maia encouraged me to speed things up and offered oxytocin. I thought about going for the epidural too, because if one interference is there already, the other one could help me rest before the big time. I’ve read that the cramps are more painful under oxytocin.

Trying to cope myself first

I should admit, it was a great decision, because we even managed to sleep for an hour. However, now I was unable to move around because of several catheters sticking in my body: the epidural in my spine, oxytocin in my hand, and an extra one for emergencies.

Another two women successfully gave birth in the neighboring rooms - 5 minutes of moaning and screaming, and then the babies meowed in unison. Another hour passed, and my induced contractions didn’t intensify too much, and the cervix was still not open enough. Around 5 PM we went for amniotomy - my amniotic sac was deliberately ruptured (it didn't hurt; water breaking felt like I was peeing myself).

Not as happy anymore in grilled chicken position

Shit happens

Around 6 the real pain came: the labour went into the active stage. I was pushing, when Maia was telling me to, but somehow it wasn’t enough. Also I suppose that lack of exercise because of the previous previa diagnosis caused the weakness of my pelvic floor, so I was working a lot, but it was all in vain.

Around 7 I asked Zviad to leave the room. When you feel like you might poop yourself, you don’t really want your husband to witness it. Many women actually do it during labour, and it’s pretty normal - however it still feels shitty… I mean, humiliating in a way. You might be a Buddha in the vacuum, but it’s hard to be a Buddha in real life, when you are there, sitting above a hole in the bed and trying to squeeze your baby’s head through your vagina and getting poop coming out instead.

Another hour passed, and I was in pain and despair more than ever. The heart rate of the baby went down. I’m writing it now, with baby Daniel making funny sounds in his sleep just next to me, and I feel a huge lump in my throat, remembering that hour.

When other women tell you that labour doesn’t feel like anything else you felt before, they don’t dramatize at all! Of course, there are ideal, more pleasant options with no extra oxytocin, timely water break, pushing phase starting earlier and going more successfully (Kegel, do Kegel if you don’t have previa, y’all!).

I didn’t manage to have an orgasmic birth, and it was okay as well. I say it on April 12 though. February 14 and the following two months had me feeling pretty down about myself being unable to push the child out, hurting myself, tearing myself and finally letting the doctors team do something I was strongly advised against (there were many more people in the room during the third hour of pushing, so yes, a team).

Zviad admits that he almost fainted when he saw a forceps and vacuum being brought in. Baby’s heartbeat was getting weaker, and that was the reason I gave the permission to perform the Kristeller maneuver (the fundal pressing maneuver, which is forbidden in some countries and discouraged to be performed because it can cause more tearing or sometimes broken bones). Not that I had the precise numbers of positive outcomes of forceps vs Kristeller, but thinking about forceps made me lose it, so…

The Arrival

9 PM passed. Technically I was in labour for almost 24 hours, as the first real contractions started around midnight. Finally, without breaking any bones and losing any organs to Kristeller, I saw a purple baby boy with layers and layers of gray cord around his neck erupting from me. I didn’t even manage to get scared: he was taken to the neighboring room to release him from the cord and help him if he won’t be able to breathe. Zviad was with him from the very beginning and saw him opening his eyes.

I saw my placenta and asked the doctors to touch it. I was curious - it’s like an extra liver growing in your body and then leaving you together with your kid; definitely something special.

Maia said I was bleeding a lot, and she’d start sewing me together immediately. More anesthetics were added, but it took time for them to start working, so I went through another 15 minutes of hell, not shouting already, but singing to help myself cope with pain. Everybody’s Changing by Keane, if someone is interested - and gosh, so much changed for me that day, including myself!

Once turning my perineum into vyshyvanka was finished, the baby was brought in, so that he could finally reach the boob and get a drink, and I could finally meet the person who was mercilessly kicking me for the last month (the kicks of the previous months were merciful). Zviad was there for us, and he was the person I loved more than anyone. The experience of partner birth really melted us into a fracture-resistant alloy, and I wouldn’t have changed a thing even if it all went in complete discord with my expectations.

Time to rest

After two hours of observation I apparently wasn’t bleeding lethally (just very strongly), so we were brought into a regular room for one (not the VIP one that we were aiming for, and it was great, because the VIP room had a regular bed and not the special medical one that you regulate with buttons).

The ladies from the neonatal unit were the kindest and very supportive throughout the three days we spent there - this is probably my warmest memory about my stay in the clinic. I’m going to tell you more about this experience in a separate post about first days after birth, postnatal care in Gagua Clinic, things no one wants to talk about and first month with the baby.

Thank you for bearing with me (pun intended)! If you are here searching for information about pregnancy and birth in Tbilisi, I wish you easier labour than I had, but even if it doesn’t go as easy as you wanted, stay strong! It’s a very empowering thing after all.

You might feel bad about interventions or accidentally doing number two in front of strangers, but finally you produce a new life via extreme effort, and in several weeks your body recovers and you are alright again. Personally, I feel very proud of my body that managed to do it, and I feel more confident and respect myself much more.